sorry i've been nowhere.

i really have been nowhere, though.  still working the same job for the same pay.  everyday i grow more and more tired of it.  the money isn't great, not enough for me to live on, anyway.  in the summer, i was asked if i wanted to be a server.  i declined inasmuch as i never responded.  i don't know.  i guess i feel that it's easy to train someone to do my job so if i quit it wouldn't be as difficult as training a new server.  also..i hardly have time to look for other means as it is (i don't know, something about my job just exhausts me.  i don't know if it's the people or the customers or just that it's sapping my creative energy into devoting myself to things i could really not care less for), and if i were a server, i would actually rely on the place because i would have less time.  and sorry but i have no desire to be there until two in the morning getting gawked at by old men in hawaiian shirts (happens enough  at the podium) while drunk women with a sick sense of south roanoke upper crust entitlement bark at me for more vodka-red bulls.  sick.

so, yeah, i'm jaded.  i work at a place which is unlike any other restaurant--it is really cool.  but they are constantly under-staffed so i can't even take some days off of my PART-TIME, shouldn't-even-be-a-big-deal job to see my friends or family without someone laying a guilt trip on me.  it's all so silly.

i applied at another temp agency.  they haven't called.  it sucks when you can't get a better job because you might not pass a drug test, but the reason you are--hypothetically--using drugs is to feel better because you have a terrible job.  self-awareness should be awarded.  with a raise.

dirty birdy.

i'm sort of back on the job hunt again. meaning, i've posted a resume on monster.com and am keeping my eyes PEELED for things. but i suppose "trying to get a job" means one actually must try, which i guess makes a little sense to me, yet i have always been a firm believer in a theory--that i'm sure i made up--which states that one should not have to work to get work. that's just counter-intuitive.

what is fueling me this time, though, is the fact that, after telling my part time employer a month in advance that i would need a week off at the end of august for my only vacation of the summer and the first time i have ever asked for any sort of extended leave, i was told it might not be possible. this is unacceptable to me, as i will be on a tour of the Dirty South with my best friend seeing, among other things, the flaming lips in concert. after this, we are heading back to virginia where FINALLY the film i worked on in the fall will be screening at the taubman museum of art, and it's kind of a big deal to me. because, realistically, i may not be working on another film for a while, and--shitty as it might end up being (i honestly cannot remember if it's good)--i am proud of the work that i did and i want that night to talk to my family about it and...yeah.

and, i'm not trying to be a martyr for my own cause, but i do everything they say (with a smile) and alls i want is a freaking vacation.

may is egg month.

a quick update is in order, i suppose.

some things have changed at the restaurant. for one, the grill cook was laid off, so that's one less person not looking at my face while talking to me. actually, he was the only one who did that. but, to his credit, he was very nice. well, i mean, he isn't dead, he IS very nice, and he only touched me a few times before he said he would stop and then he did, in fact, stop. i have no beef with him (ugh, pun acknowledged and, actually, not really intended).

two people have put in their two weeks' notice at the place, which has resulted in the hiring of a new person, abby, whom i have not met. i have only seen her name on the schedule. she's probably very nice. it occurs to me that all of the women employees have "ee" sounds in their names except for three, including me. hmm.

rumors were swirling for about 3 days last week that the restaurant might close (when i say "swirling", i mean my friend and bartender, Sierra [see? ee!] started them and kept them a-swirling. i actually think it's going to be okay. business seems to be ever so slowly picking up. not that i can honestly say i would be that devastated if the place closed. although, i really would be in trouble if it did. then i would have no excuse and i would have to, like...TRY.

sorry this is kind of a depressing entry. i don't mean for it to be. i've been in a riot grrrl mood. has anyone seen Ladies and Gentlemen: The Fabulous Stains!? the vocal stylings of a very young diane lane are stunning. just inspiring.

happy may, everyone! rabbit-rabbit!

i can't be near you! the light just...RADIATES.

i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry for not posting in so long! but i made a video to make up for it...? i've had a lot to bitch about, but of course i can only think of what i know at any given moment and much has been forgotten. until later!

wish i were a slave to the wage...

judging from how short my own attention span is, i'll just skip right to the important bits...

i'm a 23-year-old graduate of a small liberal arts womens' university in southwest virginia. i graduated with a film degree. they refuse to send me my diploma until i pay a hold on my account. i am morally opposed to this. it is a matter of principle.

i will be using this blog to express what it is like for me transitioning (however painfully slowly) from post-adolescent to post-post-adolescent/adulthood. meaning: the trials and tribulations, foibles and misadventures, and general impossible precipices one must encounter when seeking...employment. oh, i'll also mention every day events like things my parents do that freak me out, encounters with hair in the drain, and my general ineptitude in social settings.

i do not type using capital letters.

SO. let's get on with it.

****

i currently work a part-time, temporary position as a hostess during the lunchtime hours of a semi-swanky bluesy little restaurant downtown. we are required to wear all black, to which my brother replied upon my informing him, "of course. the color of ruthless authority." i write the special, soup, and entertainment of the day on three different chalkboards, answer the phone, make reservations, and of course, escort patrons to their seats upon their arrival. more on all this later, i guess.

tomorrow (actually in about 12 hours), i am headed to a...temp agency to see if i can find steady employment because my hours at the restaurant are getting to be less and less. i hate to say it, but i am very skilled at office work; during my time at college, i worked in the library on campus, and did a lot of stuff.

i promise i won't sound this stuffy in the future.

anyway, the woman on the phone at the agency told me to allow for up to 2 hours to be spent there doing tests, less depending on what kinds of tests. there is gonna be a typing test. which is fine, i am a great typist. i just have to remember to capitalize for that.